Suzan and Joe's friendship upgrade

My first few visits to Suzan were under the title of ‘Tech Buddy,’ but what blossomed out of the relationship was something more than helping with her iPad. 

After a few weeks, once we’d exhausted the list of technical issues, we moved our visits on to more substantial conversation. And so began a series of befriending visits that would offer me perspective. 

Suzan is bed-bound and so has limited autonomy, I wanted to provide her with agency and fulfilment. 

During our visits, we would talk about her family, and, in turn, I’d talk about mine. She’d tell me her favourite artist (Justin Timberlake, in case you were interested) and I’d tell her mine. Her favourite films, then my favourite. Her pets, my pets.  

We would have conversation after conversation until I realised that I was wrong to assume that I was there to give her fulfilment - she was giving it to me. 

It was noticeable how much lighter I felt walking out her home than I felt walking in. On days where I felt particularly down, she offered me perspective and on elated days she doubled my excitement. I loved this feeling; it seemed as though we’d found a relationship that served us both. 

A big breakthrough with Suzan was getting her out of the house. After lots of logistical back-and-forth, we managed to get Suzan on to a chair, and she left the house for a non-medical reason for the first time in two years. 

We made our way to Dulwich Park and sat for a while. Whilst we sat on a park bench - a bench I’d have usually rushed past - I felt so grateful to be still. Even after all these visits, Suzan was still offering me perspective. 

The hours I spent with Suzan will always be special to me. I’m so glad I had the time to spend and decided to spend it with her. She’s a special woman: an ex-nurse who has powerful care for people that I can only aspire to match. 

She’s a proper icon.